i know i just blogged, but..................

OH MY GODS! i realised life reali sucks out all ur imagination and courage to hope.

i remember once thinking that i will never be a sad, boring, ordinary person just passing on in life. that i wanted to be awesome, and remembered for some awesome thing.

but now, all i want to do is have a happy life, ordinary but with awesome parts, have fun and live happily ever after with whoever be lucky enough to be with me (LOL).

and i no longer think in terms of "OMG I WAN THAT JOB I LOVE IT!" but in terms of "i want a job that gets me by, that i can tolerate"

and when i think of my future, i think of:

study, graduate. go be airstewardess. then join the advertising/PR industry.

work. party occassionally.

grow old. survive on pension. paint. play piano.

or something along those boring lines!!!
ZOMG.

OMG I JUST REALISED MY TAGBOARD IS DOWN I CANNOT TAG!!!!!!

OH MY GOD! i just felt like doing something to let out the guilt. so i shall blog.

ZOMG! i haven't mugged at all. and looking at how my recess week has passed, and how it's going to pass, i feel so zomg guilty!

was looking at my handphone's organiser. and i realised everything i planned that has to do with mugging was cancelled off. sat was shopping with miki, sunday was uhm secret, mon was supposed to be mugging with sarajean cameron miki then going to lyon's gig. mugging was cancelled out, ended up just going for the gig, and drinking at SJ's. tue was sentosa, or mugging, ended up raining so din go sentosa, should have gone muggin, but fell aslp. til late. wed was science centering with miki and meisee, then touch rugby, then clubbing. thur was supposed mugging day, muggin cancelled. went to watch ps i love you w peixun. fri supposed to go overnight at airport but then...cancelled.

and my assignments all not done yet! and tml supposed to go for beach touch rugby from 1030 to 4 plus, then dinner with yayan (TAY YAYAN I MISS U DEEP DEEP U MIA V LONG! CAN'T WAIT!), then going zouk with peixun.

sunday supposed to go out with cs peeps. do what i still dunno. and maybe try to make it for dinner w yy and lien! ZOMG LIEN U ALSO DISAPPEARED.

and i was thinking maybe i can make up for it by mugging next wed while the guzzlers drink.. but i remembered: we're supposed to go club!

ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG! my life is screwed! at least my GPA is!!!

the guilt just suddenly settled in. when i was thinking why they gave us so lil time for assignments. when i realised.... ZOMG i wasted like damn alot of time!

i think i have to reprioritise. MAJORLY.

ah hem.

anyway, the airport, me and vp's safe haven for mugging, is no longer safe! STUPID TERRORIST HOPE THEY CATCH HIM SOON.

plus, if i get the job for sure, WHICH I REALI REALI REALI HOPE I WILL, then fri nights and sat nights are out too! w be working @ THEARENA!

BUT!!! THAT'S A GOOD THING. cos it's because of this job that i first started to worry about whether i'll have enough time for muggin. then i realised i dun even spend any time on mugging so it won't make a difference, and that was when i realised my new year resolution had gone down the drain long ago, and so it induced me to make a decision:

MUG HARD AND I SHALL KEEP THE JOB ( if it's reali confirmed).

SLACK AND I SHALL MAKE MYSELF QUIT (if there's a job to quit in the first place)

so the fun and money of the job shall motivate me to mug harder!

okay that was super ramblingy. so i shall stop my nonsense. now.

but all in all, i think life now is still pretty much good, with some complications here and there. but i should be happy for what i have now.

haha went science center with miki and meisee on wed. it was super fun! i forgot how awesome the science centre was!

watched P.S. I Love You with peixun just now.

LIKE ZOMG!!! super nice. uber awesome.

it's damn funny at times, and VERY VERY TOUCHING at others.

it's a dehydrating movie, it makes u weep like dunno wad. and laugh like dunno wad.

okay i'm still being high over the movie.

HILARY SWANK IS AWESOMENESS. HOT, SEXY, can be super unglam but still BEAUTIFUL.

anyways went for an interview for THE ARENA door host, and the guy said i more or less got the job. 12 per hour! sounds pretty awesome. trying out next friday.

oh n like i said, this blog's contents is strictly offlimits to my parents. haha.

ZOMG. it's friday already. and i've done NOTHING. 202? blank. 204? zilch. 208? i dunno wad assignment there is. HL101? no idea too. GD02? a bit. cos it's grp work. BS803? din check too.

SO BASICALLY I AM SO SCREWED.

THE BIASNESS OF IT ALL JUST PWNS ME. DON'T ACT ALL HOLIER-THAN-THOU IF YOU'RE NOT.

doesn't feel real. just a movie in action. doing what the director tells u to.

DAMN HAD THAT DREAM AGAIN. I AM SO GOING TO STRANGLE THE DREAM GOD OR WADEVA I NEED A DREAMCATCHER. WAIT. I HAVE ONE!!! i shall use it.

some things are damn suay. tmd sian.

ah hem.

tml's going to be fun day 101! be going to watch lyon's performance with SJ cameron and i dunno who else is going.

looking forward to sentosa on tue as well! needatanneedatanneedatan

its like taking out a piece of ingredient from a cake recipe, switching another in and just going through the entire process the same exact way. same baking methods, same decor, same style of serving.

it's not supposed to be like that. it should be a whole new cake, or maybe even a whole other delicacy.

i need a tan. tans solve everything.

should i cut that haircut on the doll?

random pics i can finally post up! been stuck for weeks.

me and ade at random private toilet of some bar/restaurant @ sentosa, siloso!

@ siloso! suntannings.
after tanning! SHIAT NO DIFFERENCE


be on... i dunno when! we be going out too often! haha

it's 0538 right now and i still can't fall asleep.



this be a very hard to blog post cost it be supposed to be secretive. so i shall blog in a code i devised 6 years ago.



ASLKJ SDLK UOIKL SLKJ FJKELALKJF IO JIOFM SI JIOSW EIO EJ AOIJFLNPE MFLK

ALKJSIFL SK



go figure =)





.................



okay fine that was gibberish.



i be tired, wanting to sleep, but can't reali sleep. i should get some lavender air freshener.

okays it be 7:27 and i'm still not slping, not going to.

bleed it out digging deeper just to throw it away

okays tt be not emoness. it's just that i'm listening to bleeditout now, and it's awesomeness just got to me again, like it always does.

haha okay i stopped bobbing to the song long enough to be saying this:

WTH DID I DO ON WEDNESDAY? according to my dear shroom buddeh's blog, i spouted random rhymes! and i was supposedly wasted?! but i be no remember anything!!!

oh a happier note, chingay with me dear beloved ade, and wallet shopping with miki which turned out to be a laptop cover acquistion trip and lotsa other nonsense shopping. miki be my sunday buddeh! i be seeing many many awesome stuff that i be going to buy.

ohs and my laptop cover be awesome! it has... awesome words. i shall upload a pic of it soon

see? no extra "S"es!!! i be improving deep deep wide wide many many!

okays i be trying one last times to see. OH SHIT. i mean. one last time. to see if the pictures can be uploaded. if it doesn't upload, i be going to sue ntu wireless' wire off!

but it be no wire! oh nos!

anw. tt was reali fun =) thanks.

i be emo hero.

i be guitar goddess til i killed the disc.

my bro gave me one week before i spoilt the disc/guitar.

i exceeded his wildest expectations and killed it in a day.

i be EOC. emo one corner.

This was taken downstairs of a HDB when going bai nian! haha it be cutes cos it be mushrooms. pinxiu i know u'll love it! RABBITS!

an awesomely cute boy @ my relative's place. he hugs ppl alot!


then at gramma house... me with my lovely cousins! let's go out again soon! rae take care in camp!on the car with my bro, forming the classic "Hue" with our fingers. he's off in australia now! tc and presents pls!

then bai nianing at sj's awesome mush-room, at her awesome mushouse. had awesome baileys with mint choc, baileys with irish cream, courtesy of SJ and Miki.

i be loving u long times!

shrooms present were me miki sj meisee yl cammie lyon


that be welyon with her melody toy as his head. when he got drunk, he was redder than that.

SJ's awesome bedsheet!
her ayumi hamasaki poster

LOL

........................... =( wth did i do.

okays it be cool to blog emolly. (read: emo-lly)

so i shall be emo_sad_suicidal_ger_88@ hotmail

know why it be hotmail??? cos hotmail has hot males!!!


HAHHAHAHHA



-_-


anyway, i can't decide on an emo title. so i shall not have a title

gotta summon my emoness!!!!!!!! HOIYA

why is life so confusing? it seems like that one day and the next, it's not. okay it may have been my lack of enthusiasm, but this is seriously screwing my brain. And i don't even know what i want. or feel. when there's lil of it, i miss it. when there's alot, i backoff.

OH THAT BE SOUNDING WRONG. nos. it be not what u think.

AHHH CANNOT. i cannot be emoblogging bout something i dun even know i am emo about.

must find topic to be emo about.

but emo writers seem to be able to be emo without a particular topic in mind, just vague and emo-in-general.

OHS. nvm. i shall stick to .....blogging.

anyways, i be happy! earned 260 today! while my bro earned 3000+ wtf.

cos he be going australia to study on mon!!!! =(=(=(

i will be missing him! but nvm. can play maple with him. if he can access maplesea from there.

wa lao eh i reali hate _________. they be annoying!!! omg. so suay to meet up with a whole bunch of them today. SUAY SUAY SUAY. but since it be new year, i shall not say suay. i shall say...slightly not to my liking.

WHY. I AM VERY PREJUDICED AGAINST __________. THEY TALK DAMN LOUD AND THEY BE WHINY AND... i'm just a mean bitch la. LUCKY THEY NV COME BAI NIAN. unreasonable kinda dislike, and i can't exactly explain why. hahahhaa. next time ex-ex shall mean exactly explain. oh it be not racism. the _____ is not about races, don't anyone misunderstand. i beloving mats long time!!! =) cute ones at least.

ohs it's a chore to be visiting during cny, but the perk is the angbao la. so i shall treat this as a part time job. about 3-4 hours a day for a daily pay of 200+. and suddenly visiting seems so much better.

OHS. i be....pwned.

finally saw xyz todays! after the long long draught that came after i saw the ewww yucks sick puke scene. OH I BE RAMBLING.

but he be changed! he actually got an ang gu tang!!! asin those awesome china wu xia shows where half the hair be tied up. except his was REALI UP. as in the baby's kind. my jaws came loose la. and ppl be thinking i mad. what happened to awesome spiky hair?

managed to stutter a hi and all. and the moment i alighted i was all "OHMYYGOD WTH?! WHYYYYY!! WHY THE HAIR!"

okays. but he still be awesomes. minus the hair. which will be gone soon. NS can actually be a fashion rescue!


heard a rumour today! tt made me go hmmmmmmmmmokaaaaaaay.

i be bored la. shall be emogirl88. OHS but no! gotta post up the lyrics of my all time fav love song ever! and it be not made about a sandwich. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. and...awesomes! and...awesomes!

I'll Be There For You
I guess this time youre really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love is suicide
You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now youre swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you wont save me anymore
Im praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl!

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words cant say what love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I cant buy back yesterday
And baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your ValentineI
l'l be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words cant say what love can do
I'll be there for you

And I wasn't there when you were happy
I wasn't there when you were down
I didnt mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words cant say what love can do
I'll be there for you



THE LYRICS OWN!!! they're like the aweshroomest lyrics EVER. if only bands nowadays can write like that :'(


another great song: Hey Juliet. but since i'm not Juliet, i shall not be posting the lyrics.

OHS AND A HAPPY NOTES! i saws FOFO the FRIENDLY ONE at Pacific Coffee T1!!!!

this be random emo blog cos i needed to rant shall just sign in blog sign out close window so it be not wasting time it be help me recover my peace of mind.

i will never drink coffee to mug again.

cos i did, and yet my brain is still fuzzy wuzzy. so i tried to sleep, but tadah! the coffee works and i can't. i be lying and tossing and turning, unable to get my precious power nap.

so i go back to studying, but guess what! i be still fuzzy wuzzys.

it's 1:47 am now, quiz at 830, and i'm still at folder 1, page 14.

and there be 100 over pages altogether.

LALALALALA. so sad. my dream life be over cos of this.

fail this quiz, affect gpa, unable to grad with 1st class honours or 2nd upper, can't get a good job, can't be air stewardess cos apparently they be loving awesome degree holders, can't work, can't pay rent, can't buy food, be dying by the roadside with a paper-folded box (i never can understand how ppl afford to get tin bowls if they be starving and needing ppl to donate) waiting for donations.

OHS. all because i was too busy msning, subwaying, movie watching.

it's the butterfly effect ='(

----------------------------------------------------------------
okays i just be editing this entry now at 4:58. guess wad! yays, still at interviewing despite my "speed reading"

and why am i typing this? cos i think i'm going mad.

like literally. i'm not gonna mug anymore, but neither am i going to sleep.

cos i sense THE dream coming. the freaking dream i often have that i absolutelys hate, dread, whatever it be called.

when i'm really tired and stressed, as in those i'm rushing 2 assignments weight 50% each from scratch to be ready in 4 hours kinda stress (okay i b exagerrating but u get the picture?!), and i start to fall asleep, i start to b paranoid. cos i'm deathly afraid of "those things" so i start to get really paranoid and scared and like i'm feeling now. so i be start to be so paranoid that...

I SHALL BE COHERENT.

i will start to feel/imagine that my arm or some limb is feeling number ( as in numb-er, not 12345 number), then i'll be scared and think "oh shit THE dream is gonna happen like it or not"

first few times the dream happened, i'll try reali reali hard to wake myself from it, or to stop it from happening. but no matter how desperately i tried, it happens.

the dream being the one where i feel suffocated, and no part of my body is able to move no matter how hard i be forcing myself to move. i'll be screaming and screaming for help and there'll be no one coming OR some stupid scene will be there for eg., in one of the 1st few dreams, : i was screaming for help while being unable to move and suddenly i was free and i ran to my dad's room and asked him to save me. (a bit late) and he be drinking tigerbeer and drunk and laughing at me and asking me to "zou kai la. bu yao fan" OHS. tt be sad. then suddenly i'll be back in my room being unable to move and gasping for breath.

i say the scene is stupid cos my dad dun even drink tiger beer. he be drinking awesome ABC.

THE dream is freaking horrible. always so helpless, terrified, screaming for help that (a) never comes (b) seems to come but is snatched away and POOF back to being unable to move.

and the thing is, everytime i' above to have THE dream, i sense it. like suddenly my arm or something, actually just my arm, i think, goes numb, i be trying to unnumb it mentally, fighting against having the dream, thinking, i'm bigger than the dream, my willpower is way awesomerer than THE dream. i will NOT have the dream. i will be thinking of awesomer stuff, happy lalala stuff.

but no matter how fiercely i wish the freaking dream will still happen. and i will wake up feeling defeated drained and deriffied. i say derrified cos i be looking for triple alliteration to emphasise my point.

anyway, my point is, i am able to sense THE dream coming, and since i am always unable to stop it happening and i shit hate it, i be going to do the only thing i can do: I BE NOT SLEEPING.

so anyway, end of rambling. i be youtubing or something. or stare blankly at the interview folder page 6 trying to make sense out of nonsense.

if nonsense's adjective be nonsensical, does that make sense's adjective be sensical?

OHS! i'm damn tired. just got back from shopping!!!!!! with jia and janet. it was fun!!! bought damn alot of things and i've a new fave shop!

sorry RED2, but u're passe. i be loving PUREMILK!! bought 2 tops from there, and i stil wanna buy more!

ppl, if u wanna buy puremilk stuff, go to the fareast outlet! got damn sweet girls with super good attitude!!!! actually i was about to buy only one, but cos the girl was uber nice and patient, plus she kept smiling and even though we kept spouting nonsense, laughing, and being fickle minded, she still kept a smile on and was very friendly!

plus her fren too! so i just bought both tops i wanted. and i'm a happy girl!

ohs and another shop had awesome dresses but a*hole salesgirl. when i went with peixun and lien ytd, we got turned off by her and din buy.

the thing is, the two shops are like facing each other!!! hahaha. so different las.

so next time, if u get a business, get awesome salesgirls.


anws, i be paying for shopping again soon! online ones.

and i be stoning. nights ppls.

oh nos. i knows i be saying this befores.

butto, i'm gonna repeato it agains.

I WANNA WATCH ETERNAL SUNSHINE AGAINS!!!

whys is againo called againo?

nosbody knows?

WHYS WHYS WHYS

do u gain somethings when u do it again?

issit a gain?

again asides, I HAIL SJ'S ARTISTIC TALENTS. THIS BE HER MASTERPIECEO. her MUSHERPIECEO.

yays! joins the SOS!! ok, i REALI REALI WANNO TO WATCHOS THE ETERNAL SUNSHINES AGAINS.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAS.

THE WKW SCHOOL OF MASS MUSHROOMS! U IS JOININGS US!!!


ohs.. i thinks my fellow mushrooms and mes are gonna be faillings englishes.

there's the HK accent trend thing goings around. and it's driving me off my mushroom.

and then there's the plurals things. the "S" things. which is addictives.

HAHAHHAHAHAHA NOLINK BUT I BE LAUGHING MY MUSHROOMS OFF AT THE AIRPORTS.

anw, n there be the "be" in phrases.

like i be doing work nows.

OHS.



HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAMUSHROOMS